Stories of Unpredictability

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Stories on stories on stories, these past few days, weeks, months. The stories unfold so quickly, each bleeds into the next. Before I can share one, another is writing itself.

A few days ago, I was debating about taking a long-awaited weather window that would allow us to sail south to the Sounds, but my replacement for a broken phone (under warranty) that I’ve been waiting a month for was going to arrive any day, I hadn’t been sleeping well due to the cold and dripping condensation on my face at night, and I wanted to finish and send a series of long-overdue pieces to our patient supporters about living through COVID in New Zealand, a strange experience intensified by finding myself so far from my grandma (best friend and only biological family) when she fell and disappeared rapidly into dementia, leaving me to grieve and coordinate her care from across an ocean, behind closed borders...

A few days ago, I was debating about taking a weather window to go south, and looked down over the side of Windfola to see my new kayak (replacement for the one stolen 2 months ago) was half deflated, filled with water, with a gash in one side, and I was out of glue to patch it...

A few days ago, I was debating about taking a weather window to go south, but needed water, so I cruised up through the port to the marina’s guest dock — the marina that welcomed me seven weeks ago when I hit my wrist and needed to go get X-rays —but after filling my tanks with water, I discovered my engine wouldn’t start again...

A few days ago, I was debating about taking a weather window to go south, but instead, I limped into the marina, where a supportive community of local sailors welcomed us — again — with hugs, kayak-patching glue, a dehumidifier, and fresh kiwifruit; and a kind marina manager helped me procure a discounted new start battery.

Stories on stories on stories. Kindness on kindness on kindness. Silver linings to every dark cloud. Exhausted and grateful and frustrated with myself for not writing more, faster, sooner... but just letting the stories unfold, hour by hour, day by day, week by week. This is solo sailing around the world: full of emotions, challenges, wins, rewards, and — most of all — unpredictability.

Nature, Love, and Safety

When I was a child, I had the fortune to go to sleep-away girl scout camp on a scholarship, and that’s where I felt love and safety for the first time in my little life. It was in the middle of a coastal forest on the West Coast, and we slept in tents or open-structured buildings with all of Mother Earth’s creatures for company. There were always trees around us, holding us in their calming presence. So many strong, loving women, taught us to sing together in one voice. The song I remember best is always in my head when I walk in the forest, and I heard it there today:

“Green trees around us,
blue skies, above.
Friends all around us,
in a world filled with love.”

Mr. Rogers said — and I believe — that love is a verb, an active word, like struggle. I see much struggle, but also much love, in our world right now, and I am glad for it. I would rather have and build that kind of love.

I found a safe, quiet, peaceful place to nurture my soul today. I hope you found space for that, too. xx

p.s. The mountain had a message at the top for us! Scroll to the last photo, and take heart.

Theft of Our Dinghy!

Yesterday, we went ashore to walk to the nearest grocery store (90 minutes away!) I landed the kayak on a tiny beach by a quay at the foot of Mount Maunganui; it’s at the end of a road beyond the signs saying the mountain’s park is closed.

When we returned, our kayak was gone. Who would steal someone’s dinghy right now?!

It’s like having your car stolen. It’s how we haul groceries, food, and water; it’s how we get ashore for walks, or for emergencies. It’s especially important right now, since we aren’t permitted to get a slip in a marina.

New Zealand is in an extremely strict lockdown. You can’t buy anything online that isn’t deemed an “essential” good by the government. It appears that Trademe — New Zealand’s eBay/Craigslist — isn’t permitting sales or shipments for inflatable kayaks right now.

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The police were so helpful and kind when I called them last night. With their understanding, we borrowed a small yellow canoe from shore so that we could get home. I’m really thankful for how smoothly it all went... and at how little it ruffled me. I really believe that these things usually lead to something good, if you just trust and stay kind. The universe is surely making room to bring us something lovely.

So, I’m putting it out to my community here: If you happen to know anyone in the area that might be able to sell & drop off an inflatable kayak for us in the Tauranga/Mount Maunganui area, it would be a huge help! Or perhaps you know someone who could ship us one — like someone at the awesome Sevylor — or a local who could receive the shipment here for us. Any help would be so so greatly appreciated! Thank you!

And, above all, please be kind right now. We really are all in this together.

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UPDATE: Thank you so SO much for the outpouring of support! You all make my heart so happy; it's like receiving a big hug!  A member of a NZ women's sailing group shared this to her community, secured us a one-person rigid kayak to use for the duration of our stay here, and towed it out to us!  I'm so happy that we have a way to get to shore again, especially so we can return Little Yellow.

We still need to replace our inflatable, as there just isn't enough room on deck to stow a rigid kayak for passages. Thank you SO MUCH to the members of this community that reached out to contribute some $ to our kayak-purchasing fund! A new one is certainly beyond my means right now, so I cannot express how grateful I am for the help, especially at such a dear time for so many. I promise to pay this forward in every way possible.

Wishing you love and kindness. xo