logs from the sea
Elana C
Tasman Crossing: Our Last Full Night at Sea?
logs from the sea
Elana C
Tasman Crossing: How to Make Potato Salad at Sea
logs from the sea
Elana C
Tasman Crossing: Decisions, Decisions
logs from the sea
Elana C
Tasman Crossing: Decent wind and looking ...
logs from the sea
Elana C
Tasman Crossing: The Morning After Our First ...

feelings

Going "Home" to Tauranga

Have you ever left a place, returned, and felt you’d come home? After three weeks out cruising the coast of the Coromandel, we returned last night to Tauranga Bridge Marina . . . and home. ❤️

Sailors always help each other, but the sailing family we’ve found here is extra special. I decided to return to Tauranga because Windfola needs TLC on her bottom; we are overdue to haul-out. I’ve been fighting an ear infection for a week, so I arrived feeling tired & nauseous, on an ebb tide with a lot of current. Though she’s away right now, the local and ever-nurturing Sonya made time for a chat to boost my confidence before I came into the harbor. Then boat neighbor Pammie — and goddess in her own right — came to catch our lines. The endlessly kind marina manager, Tony, kept an eye out for my sails, & sent me a kindly text reminder as the light waned to turn on my nav lights. He came out in the runabout to boost us into the slip if the current fought me too much.

Dock lines were secured and then a whole parade of friendly faces came by — sweet Thami, Sonya’s Trevor, and another local lady sailor/racer, Rachael. Everyone smiled & welcomed us back, with pets for Zia & hugs for me. We were offered dinner company, an invite to a game night, & rides to the grocery store.

Today, I was loaned tools for the projects ahead — like a cutlass bearing extractor! — and offered more support in the boatyard then I could ever have imagined. People here genuinely care and want to see us succeed at the big (surprise!) sailing project I have planned for the next six months. The boatyard owner has kindly squeezed us in and offered a terrific deal at one of the best DIY yards around, Tauranga Bridge Travelift . 🙌🍀

Family is something you create. Home is wherever you open your heart to others, and they reciprocate. A shepherd that I met recently on Great Mercury Island told me, “Why have enemies when you can have friends? Being grumpy doesn’t achieve anything.” In these times, it feels especially important to remember that it really is that simple.

The shepherd also said, “When it’s raining porridge, hold out your bowl!” 😂 New Zealand, and especially Tauranga, thanks for filling my bowl! 🙏❤️

Stories of Unpredictability

Stories on stories on stories, these past few days, weeks, months. The stories unfold so quickly, each bleeds into the next. Before I can share one, another is writing itself.

A few days ago, I was debating about taking a long-awaited weather window that would allow us to sail south to the Sounds, but my replacement for a broken phone (under warranty) that I’ve been waiting a month for was going to arrive any day, I hadn’t been sleeping well due to the cold and dripping condensation on my face at night, and I wanted to finish and send a series of long-overdue pieces to our patient supporters about living through COVID in New Zealand, a strange experience intensified by finding myself so far from my grandma (best friend and only biological family) when she fell and disappeared rapidly into dementia, leaving me to grieve and coordinate her care from across an ocean, behind closed borders...

A few days ago, I was debating about taking a weather window to go south, and looked down over the side of Windfola to see my new kayak (replacement for the one stolen 2 months ago) was half deflated, filled with water, with a gash in one side, and I was out of glue to patch it...

A few days ago, I was debating about taking a weather window to go south, but needed water, so I cruised up through the port to the marina’s guest dock — the marina that welcomed me seven weeks ago when I hit my wrist and needed to go get X-rays —but after filling my tanks with water, I discovered my engine wouldn’t start again...

A few days ago, I was debating about taking a weather window to go south, but instead, I limped into the marina, where a supportive community of local sailors welcomed us — again — with hugs, kayak-patching glue, a dehumidifier, and fresh kiwifruit; and a kind marina manager helped me procure a discounted new start battery.

Stories on stories on stories. Kindness on kindness on kindness. Silver linings to every dark cloud. Exhausted and grateful and frustrated with myself for not writing more, faster, sooner... but just letting the stories unfold, hour by hour, day by day, week by week. This is solo sailing around the world: full of emotions, challenges, wins, rewards, and — most of all — unpredictability.

Lighting a Lamp For Child Welfare Reform

“‘Let me light my lamp,’ says the star, ‘And never debate if it will help to remove the darkness.’” - Rabindranath Tagore

I have spent months reviving my lamp. The flame had grown weak, and the brass, tarnished. I polished it for many weeks, discarding blackened rags one after the other. I washed the clouded glass with my tears until it was as clear as mid-ocean waters. I refilled the empty well. It was an abyss; I had burned down all the oil. Now, the flame is bright and strong enough to shine through even the darkest of these unexpected winter nights in New Zealand.

This past week, I’ve been listening to what is happening in the US. I’ve sought out new voices to help me understand our history of institutionalized racism & oppression. Kelsang Gyatso said, “Listening is a lamp that dispels the darkness of ignorance.”

I’m ready to speak here again, but at this moment, more than any sailing story, this is the one that must be told first. . .

For every black adult victim of systemic racism in the US, there are many more black children harmed every day, because inequities in every society start with our young.

I’ve been learning & grappling with a truth I’ve known for years. The privilege granted me by the color of my skin led to a far different foster care experience than that of black children, who:

  • are 2x more likely to enter the foster care system than white children

  • primarily enter care for neglect (due to poverty), not abuse

  • have the highest prevalence of having parental rights terminated

  • are less likely to be adopted than white children

  • have the highest rate of moving from child protection to juvenile detention

If we want to dismantle racism in America, we must start here. Black Children Matter, so I support not only criminal justice reform, but also child welfare system reform.

How you can learn/support this:

Let us light our lamps and, together, remove the darkness.

-

Further reading/selected sources:

Finding Safe Harbor in the Time of a Global Pandemic

It’s been a whirlwind, but we’re ok.

We were off-the-grid when COVID-19 hit pandemic status, & the New Zealand government locked down the country. We temporarily had a US sailor friend aboard who was touring NZ, but borders were closed & flights were cancelled. So our friend is stuck, and technically supposed to remain in our (34-foot!) bubble (for four weeks!)

When we reached cell signal & heard the news, we were low on food, fuel, & water. Marinas aren’t accepting new tenants, but will allow us to tie up for an hour or two to re-provision.

Liveaboards are supposed to stay put unless moving for safety or necessities. It’s important to me to be a respectful guest in this wonderful country, & to help prevent the spread of the virus. It took us awhile to figure out and execute the right long-term plan for a safe self-isolation into the winter months.

We feel lucky to be here, but we are concerned about our community (I have sick friends at home, & my grandma fell and is now in a facility).

I’ve also been thinking a lot about how this pandemic must be affecting the foster care community, as carers now have limited support whilst caring full-time for children (many with special needs). Now, more than ever, it is important to me to raise awareness about the needs of these families.

Once we settle into safe harbor, I plan to continue bringing attention to ways we can help the foster care community, while also sharing joyful glimpses into the beauty of this life.

Stay safe, stay kind, & stay generous. It’s the only way forward, because we are all in this together.

Cast Off the Docklines and Believe

After so many weeks staying put in one place and working hard, it feels so good and so right that Windfola is moving again. Tomorrow we are planning a big shakedown sail, and if all goes smoothly, we’ll depart the next day to cruise down the east coast of the North Island of New Zealand.

Sitting here by the light of Windfola’s oil lamp, rocking gently on our mooring, I’ve been remembering the beauty of long days at sea with incredible sunsets like this one. It was memories like this, coupled with a poem by Pat Schneider, that kept me going through the last few weeks of labor. To those of you who, like me, are working with a focused discipline... don’t forget the equal importance of just casting off the docklines and believing.


YOUR BOAT, YOUR WORDS

Your boat, they will tell you,
cannot leave the harbor
without discipline.

But they will neglect to mention
that discipline has a vanishing point,
an invisible horizon where belief takes over.

They will not whisper to you the secret
that they themselves have not fully understood: that
belief is the only wind with breath enough
to take you past the deadly calms, the stopped motion
toward that place you have imagined,
the existence of which you cannot prove
except by going there.

- Pat Schneider

Day 6 of 25, singlehanding from CA to The Marquesas, French Polynesia

A Terrible Accident :(

Zia was in an accident four days ago, and that’s how we met Ella, an animal whisperer from a family of angels.

Today Zia was sedated for a final X-ray, which confirmed there’s been no damage to her organs or bones. I’ve always thought she was resilient... but I’m totally dumbfounded that she is this ok after being run over by both wheels of a fast-moving mountain bike.

I am SO grateful for Ella’s kind parents and brother swooping in to care for us in our moment of need. After Zia was run over, I was more scared than I’ve ever felt in even our worst moments at sea. She made horrifying cries and her whole body crumpled up. Ella’s family showed up, drove us 30 minutes to the nearest emergency vet, comforted both of us, and let us spend an evening in their home while we monitored Zia post-accident. She began to perk up once the pain meds kicked in, and she’s been rapidly improving ever since. (Truthfully, she’s recovering faster than me...)

We’ve been taking it easy the last few days because Zia’s bruised and sore... which means that *just* as our boat projects finished and we could haul anchor, we’ve yet again had to postpone our departure for the South Island. The ocean has been calling loudly to me for weeks, and I’ve been yearning for freedom... but must just believe that all is as it’s meant to be.

And despite the awful circumstances, I’m glad for both of us that we got to meet Ella and her lovely family. They’ve reminded me that we can all bring more goodness into the world by just choosing to care for one another.

"Make me an instrument of peace . . . "

not every day is easy, but every day that I look into these eyes, I feel lucky. Zia loves in a way that is different from any love I’ve ever felt. She forgives quickly. She’s patient. She’s always ready to be happy together again. And when I have a hard day, like today, she comes to me to check in, and offers to wipe my tears away... (errr... but, with her tongue, so there’s definitely some room for improvement in her tissue technique).

84295228_789920358085393_2615923520382697472_o.jpg

Lately, life has been amazing and overwhelming, blessed and challenging. I’m lucky to encounter so much kindness in my life, but when I encounter unkindness (however infrequently), it still makes my stomach sink and my heart drop. I struggle to share about it when it’s happening, but I’m trying to find positive ways to talk about some of the challenges I face out here as a solo young woman.

I’ve always been sensitive, and perhaps all of the time with nature has made me struggle more with mankind. I know we are all imperfect, but I think we must set an intention to not lash out meanly at each other. I want us to love each other the way Zia loves me: with a kind and generous heart.

There was no faith or organized religion in my childhood, so I am discovering prayer late in life. I heard this one recently — perhaps known to many people — and it resonated deeply with me. Lately, no matter what happens each day, this is the prayer my soul is speaking:

“Make me an instrument of peace; where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is discord, union; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; and where there is sadness, joy.

Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console; to be understood, as to understand; to be loved, as to love; for it is in giving that we receive, and it is in pardoning that we are pardoned.”

Thank you, Zia, for being this prayer embodied. I love you.

A New Year's Miracle!

I’ve heard of holiday miracles, but never New Year’s miracles...?!?

Last night I received word that results were in for all of salty dog Zia’s tests and I could pick her up today!!! 😮😍

Kind new local friends lent me wheels to make the long drive (on the left side of the road—eeep!) to the facility south of Auckland. I brought Zia’s favorite toys, and found out where the nearest place to run free was. At 1 PM on the dot, they gave her back to me... and I have never seen her eyes so big or her grin so wide!!! She took an hour to calm down enough to start the drive to the park. When we got there, she ran and ran and ran, and I think my heart exploded with happiness. ❤️🐶❤️

This journey has its ups and downs, and I learn so much from all of it, but I am so so so thankful for this beautiful, soaring high up of a day! Reunited with my partner, I feel whole again, and ready for all the joys and challenges of 2020. Wishing everyone a new year full of miracles and big smiles! xo 🙏💕😘⛵️

Day 22: The Rum Fairy Remembers her Lessons

[This was originally published to our subscribers during our passage from San Diego to the Marquesas.]

Defying all expectations, today’s conditions were completely mellow. After a windy and rolling night, the winds and seas calmed around mid-morning and have been moving us along in gentle, perfect conditions ever since. The sky was a clear, gorgeous blue. This left me wondering, what’s the weather doing ahead of us and when is it arriving?

I tend to sail conservatively since I’m alone and relatively inexperienced. I try to make the most responsible and informed decisions that I can with the hope that this will keep us safe(r). I sometimes wonder if my restrained and cautious choices seem silly to more experienced sailors. But, as I’m already taking enough risk doing this solo, why encounter that which might be prevented?

Then the unexpected arrives, and I remember what the ocean teaches me every time I’m out here. No matter what’s forecast, you have to sail the conditions you are in.

She teaches me this when unexpected winds crop up and linger. I think, “This isn’t in the forecast; it will probably pass before I can put a reef in.” But it doesn’t. She teaches me this when the winds lighten and I’m hesitant to shake out a reef, knowing conditions are forecast to worsen soon. But they don’t. She is reminding me that we are in this moment, right now. We must adjust sail for both the expected and the unexpected. If we worry too much about what’s coming, we will miss out on enjoying the clear blue sky overhead and the gentle rolling swell below.

Once I remembered this, I relaxed and shook out a reef. Zia and I savored the day, wandering the foredeck together, watching the birds, and hunting for flying fish in crevices of the cockpit lazarettes. Since e-mail was still down, I had time to read a book for pleasure. I chopped and pickled onions in lemon juice and white wine vinegar and prepared a giant salad for dinner. It was delicious. Today was unexpected and perfect.

 

with love and serenity,

elana, zia, and SV Windfola 💕

 

P.S. You can reply to this email to reach me again! 😀 I would love to know what you want to hear more about during our final days at sea.

Day 21: Anxious But Happy Shellbacks

[This was originally published to our subscribers during our passage from San Diego to the Marquesas.]

We crossed the equator! I saw the southern cross for the first time! These are incredible, amazing, joyful milestones—and yet I’m a bundle of nerves.

I had forgotten that this is the point in a passage when things fatigue to exhaustion. We have been beating into the wind ever since we exited the ITCZ, and all of us can feel it. Windfola’s wooden interior is swollen with the humidity and creaking horribly as her hull bashes into the swell. Zia is so tired of our life at 20°, heeled to starboard, that she pooped in our bed in her sleep last night. 💩 The starboard side has a leak into the shower pan floor of the head so I have to manually run the sump pump there every two hours all night. The GPS chart plotter has gone on strike and shuts itself down throughout the night, disabling all my alarms for ships and objects. The strap that holds my life raft on the boat wore through and I just barely caught it in time. The e-mail app I use to check my Gmail won’t send or receive e-mails anymore, so I also can't share pictures with you now. Every sound the boat makes feeds my anxiety that she’s going to fall apart at the seams any second.

But, incredibly, I feel stronger than ever! My soul is renewed and my heart is full. As I crossed the equator I thanked Mother Ocean for giving us so much joy, teaching us, and delivering us safely. I hauled up buckets of her beautiful, warm water and drenched myself in it, happily licking the salt off of my lips. I thanked Windfola for being her vessel, and I thanked Zia for being our companion.

And then I put on my Rum Fairy outfit, crawled to the bow, and poured one out for my homegirl. 🥃🌊

There was a dance party in the cockpit that culminated in me singing Southern Cross at the top of my lungs. A tub of frosting with rainbow sprinkles was eaten with a spoon (I forgot to buy something to put it on) and Zia got a can of tuna juice. We are all still smiling.

But ahead of us lies one more challenge. You might have noticed that I haven’t been sailing a direct course to Hiva Oa, and the route I’ve chosen has added at least a day to our passage. That’s because I wanted to put us at a better angle for what’s coming.

A very strong cycle of tradewinds is building, and with it is a pattern of 3+ meter swell with a short period of seven seconds. Our longitude exiting the ITCZ, coupled with the angle of these tradewinds, meant that if we sailed directly to our destination the wind and swell would be right on the beam or slightly forward of it. This position would be uncomfortable and worrisome in the short, steep waves that are coming, so we sailed south for the last few days. As the seas and winds build tomorrow, I will fall off to the southwest on our heading to Hiva Oa, putting the wind and swell slightly behind us for the final leg of our journey.

It will still be a stressful and bumpy ride, but we only have about four and a half days to go. Now is the time to hang in there and nerves are just part of the package. Part of the glorious, beautiful, awesome package.


delighted and determined,

elana, zia, and SV Windfola 💪


P. S. More of our playlist from the sea!

  • Thelonius Monk, Bluehawk (swing/blues/jazz piano)

  • Calexico; Hush (bordertown indie folk rock)

  • Gemini Rising, Fiora, & Tensnake; Best Case Life (80s-inspired modern indie)

  • Junip; Don’t Let it Pass (indie euro folk rock)

  • CSNY; Wooden Ships (classic folk rock)

  • Emiliana Torrini, Sunny Road (indie girl with guitar folk)

  • Jose Gonzales; Every Age and Open Book (indie guy with guitar folk)

  • Sugarloaf; Green-Eyed Lady (classic rock)

  • People Under The Stairs, Montego Slay (underground/classic-style melodic hip hop)

  • Blues Image; Ride Captain Ride (classic rock)

  • Collective Efforts; Tunnel Vision (underground/classic-style melodic hip hop)

  • CSNY; Guinevere (folk)

  • Kate Bush; This Woman’s Work & Running up the Hill (women’s)

  • Ibeyi; Rise Up Wise Up Eyes Up (Afro-Caribbean/French inspired modern soul)

  • Yes; Owner of a Lonely Heart (80s)

  • Nina Simone; Wild is the Wind (jazz)

  • Bibio; Saint Thomas, You Won’t Remember, & A Mineral Love (chill indie folk electro-groove singer/songwriter)

  • Joni Mitchell, A Case of You (folk)

  • Rationale; Prodigal Son (indie African-inspired singer-songwriter)

  • Procol Harem; A Salty Dog (classic rock)

  • Curtis Mayfield; Move On Up (soul/funk/brass)

  • Stevie Wonder, Uptight (Everything’s Alright) 

  • Vetiver; Current Carry (indie modern chill surf-folk-rock)

  • Iron & Wine; Joy & Fever Dream (modern indie folk)

  • Andrew Bird; Truth Lies Low & Far From Any Road Be My Hand (indie folk/strings jazz)

  • Beth Orton, State of Grace (singer/songwriter modern folk)

  • Aqualung; Magnetic North (indie rock)

  • Noname; Diddy Bop (indie female r&b/melodic rap)

  • Brandi Carlile; The Eye (bluegrass/country folk)

  • Phosphorescent; Song For Zula (mellow indie rock)

  • Vetiver; The Swimming Song (cover of another folk artist)

  • Jim James; The World’s Smiling Now (mellow soul)

  • Sam Padrul; Why Do I Do? - Matanoll Remix (modern soul funk pop)

  • Kat Edmonson; What Else Can I Do? (solo female latin jazz)

  • Escort; My Life (modern soul funk pop)

to the sea again

Sea people are special. We have a shared understanding, without words, of hearing the siren’s call of the ocean, and the longing it roots in one’s heart. Nothing will ease it but going.

A friend shared this with me yesterday. It’s as though this guy a hundred years ago was writing the words my heart has been speaking.

Sea Fever, by John Masefield

I must go down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky,

And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by;

And the wheel’s kick and the wind’s song and the white sail’s shaking,

And a grey mist on the sea’s face, and a grey dawn breaking.

I must go down to the seas again, for the call of the running tide

Is a wild call and a clear call that may not be denied; 

And all I ask is a windy day with the white clouds flying,

And the flung spray and the blown spume, and the sea-gulls crying.

I must go down to the seas again, to the vagrant gypsy life,

To the gull’s way and the whale’s way where the wind’s like a whetted knife;

And all I ask is a merry yarn from a laughing fellow-rover,

And quiet sleep and a sweet dream when the long trick’s over.

thank you, Donald 🙏💕