Nature, Love, and Safety

When I was a child, I had the fortune to go to sleep-away girl scout camp on a scholarship, and that’s where I felt love and safety for the first time in my little life. It was in the middle of a coastal forest on the West Coast, and we slept in tents or open-structured buildings with all of Mother Earth’s creatures for company. There were always trees around us, holding us in their calming presence. So many strong, loving women, taught us to sing together in one voice. The song I remember best is always in my head when I walk in the forest, and I heard it there today:

“Green trees around us,
blue skies, above.
Friends all around us,
in a world filled with love.”

Mr. Rogers said — and I believe — that love is a verb, an active word, like struggle. I see much struggle, but also much love, in our world right now, and I am glad for it. I would rather have and build that kind of love.

I found a safe, quiet, peaceful place to nurture my soul today. I hope you found space for that, too. xx

p.s. The mountain had a message at the top for us! Scroll to the last photo, and take heart.

Lighting a Lamp For Child Welfare Reform

“‘Let me light my lamp,’ says the star, ‘And never debate if it will help to remove the darkness.’” - Rabindranath Tagore

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I have spent months reviving my lamp. The flame had grown weak, and the brass, tarnished. I polished it for many weeks, discarding blackened rags one after the other. I washed the clouded glass with my tears until it was as clear as mid-ocean waters. I refilled the empty well. It was an abyss; I had burned down all the oil. Now, the flame is bright and strong enough to shine through even the darkest of these unexpected winter nights in New Zealand.

This past week, I’ve been listening to what is happening in the US. I’ve sought out new voices to help me understand our history of institutionalized racism & oppression. Kelsang Gyatso said, “Listening is a lamp that dispels the darkness of ignorance.”

I’m ready to speak here again, but at this moment, more than any sailing story, this is the one that must be told first. . .

For every black adult victim of systemic racism in the US, there are many more black children harmed every day, because inequities in every society start with our young.

I’ve been learning & grappling with a truth I’ve known for years. The privilege granted me by the color of my skin led to a far different foster care experience than that of black children, who:

• are 2x more likely to enter the foster care system than white children

• primarily enter care for neglect (due to poverty), not abuse

• have the highest prevalence of having parental rights terminated

• are less likely to be adopted than white children

• have the highest rate of moving from child protection to juvenile detention

If we want to dismantle racism in America, we must start here. Black Children Matter, so I support not only criminal justice reform, but also child welfare system reform.

How you can learn/support this:

• in Minnesota: pass the African American Family Preservation Act- see https://www.preserveourfamilies.org, give to Amherst H. Wilder Foundation’s Kofi program to provide black children with school-based mental health care, give to EVOLVE Family Services UMOJA MN camp

• Nationally: support the Children's Defense Fund, and national efforts to reform the child welfare system, like through the National Coalition for Child Protection Reform.

• Locally: seek out orgs serving poor black families & foster kids like Amara in WA state, Black Family And Children Services in AZ. Call your reps and tell them that #blackchildrenmatter, especially those in poverty, homelessness, and foster care.

Let us light our lamps and, together, remove the darkness.

-

Further reading/selected sources:

• https://youthtoday.org/2018/02/found-black-foster-parents-confronted-racial-disparity-foster-care/

• https://nccpr.org

• this brief TED talk https://youtu.be/c15hy8dXSps

• EYE OPENING READ https://www.nytimes.com/2017/07/21/nyregion/foster-care-nyc-jane-crow.html

• https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubPDFs/racial_disproportionality.pdf

• https://www.govinfo.gov/content/pkg/GAOREPORTS-GAO-07-816/html/GAOREPORTS-GAO-07-816.htm

• https://www.childtrends.org/indicators/foster-care

• https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubPDFs/foster.pdf

Theft of Our Dinghy!

Yesterday, we went ashore to walk to the nearest grocery store (90 minutes away!) I landed the kayak on a tiny beach by a quay at the foot of Mount Maunganui; it’s at the end of a road beyond the signs saying the mountain’s park is closed.

When we returned, our kayak was gone. Who would steal someone’s dinghy right now?!

It’s like having your car stolen. It’s how we haul groceries, food, and water; it’s how we get ashore for walks, or for emergencies. It’s especially important right now, since we aren’t permitted to get a slip in a marina.

New Zealand is in an extremely strict lockdown. You can’t buy anything online that isn’t deemed an “essential” good by the government. It appears that Trademe — New Zealand’s eBay/Craigslist — isn’t permitting sales or shipments for inflatable kayaks right now.

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The police were so helpful and kind when I called them last night. With their understanding, we borrowed a small yellow canoe from shore so that we could get home. I’m really thankful for how smoothly it all went... and at how little it ruffled me. I really believe that these things usually lead to something good, if you just trust and stay kind. The universe is surely making room to bring us something lovely.

So, I’m putting it out to my community here: If you happen to know anyone in the area that might be able to sell & drop off an inflatable kayak for us in the Tauranga/Mount Maunganui area, it would be a huge help! Or perhaps you know someone who could ship us one — like someone at the awesome Sevylor — or a local who could receive the shipment here for us. Any help would be so so greatly appreciated! Thank you!

And, above all, please be kind right now. We really are all in this together.

—

UPDATE: Thank you so SO much for the outpouring of support! You all make my heart so happy; it's like receiving a big hug!  A member of a NZ women's sailing group shared this to her community, secured us a one-person rigid kayak to use for the duration of our stay here, and towed it out to us!  I'm so happy that we have a way to get to shore again, especially so we can return Little Yellow.

We still need to replace our inflatable, as there just isn't enough room on deck to stow a rigid kayak for passages. Thank you SO MUCH to the members of this community that reached out to contribute some $ to our kayak-purchasing fund! A new one is certainly beyond my means right now, so I cannot express how grateful I am for the help, especially at such a dear time for so many. I promise to pay this forward in every way possible.

Wishing you love and kindness. xo

Finding Safe Harbor in the Time of a Global Pandemic

It’s been a whirlwind, but we’re ok.

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We were off-the-grid when COVID-19 hit pandemic status, & the New Zealand government locked down the country. We temporarily had a US sailor friend aboard who was touring NZ, but borders were closed & flights were cancelled. So our friend is stuck, and technically supposed to remain in our (34-foot!) bubble (for four weeks!)

When we reached cell signal & heard the news, we were low on food, fuel, & water. Marinas aren’t accepting new tenants, but will allow us to tie up for an hour or two to re-provision.

Liveaboards are supposed to stay put unless moving for safety or necessities. It’s important to me to be a respectful guest in this wonderful country, & to help prevent the spread of the virus. It took us awhile to figure out and execute the right long-term plan for a safe self-isolation into the winter months.

We feel lucky to be here, but we are concerned about our community (I have sick friends at home, & my grandma fell and is now in a facility).

I’ve also been thinking a lot about how this pandemic must be affecting the foster care community, as carers now have limited support whilst caring full-time for children (many with special needs). Now, more than ever, it is important to me to raise awareness about the needs of these families.

Once we settle into safe harbor, I plan to continue bringing attention to ways we can help the foster care community, while also sharing joyful glimpses into the beauty of this life.

Stay safe, stay kind, & stay generous. It’s the only way forward, because we are all in this together.

'Lectronic Latitude Article Out— PPJ Learnings, Part Three: Having Fun!

I’m so excited to see this in print; it’s the final installment of my three-part series on lessons learned while cruising the Pacific last year! It was really important to me to distill what my friends and I learned to help cruisers to come, and I hope you’ll check out the whole series. Here’s an excerpt from Part Three, about having a whale of a time:

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“For first-time Puddle Jumpers, the journey across the Pacific really is a leap — a leap of faith. It’s a decision to cast off the security of your docklines and venture into challenges unknown, to surrender to the will of wind and sea, and to believe that somewhere in the warm trade winds, your soul will find satisfaction. A successful cruise is about more than just being well provisioned and keeping the boat moving; it’s about creating a tapestry of unique memories that will last you a lifetime. While alumni from 2019’s PPJ had many practical tips for sailing the South Pacific, they had far more thoughts on how to craft a satisfying journey.

The Long Passage

Every boat is different, but we all pass through the initiation of sailing 2800-4000 nm across the Pacific Ocean. When you’re not busy with sailing, staying entertained is key. “Audiobooks are a must!” says Jolanda de Boer of Bliss, a Pearson 385 from Berkeley. Others, like singlehander James Mace of Moonrise from Falmouth, UK, recommend listening to podcasts.

“If we didn’t have movies, we would have gone crazy,” said Cody Heath of Zoë from Houston. Bring high-capacity external hard drives to facilitate sharing digital media (as well as cruising guides, weather data, and e-charts).

“Take advantage of calm moments when there aren’t any issues,” advised Katie Nolet of Zoë. “Use this time to do stuff that’s good for the soul, because you may not find time for it otherwise.””

-

Go read the rest on ‘Lectronic Latitude!

Cast Off the Docklines and Believe

After so many weeks staying put in one place and working hard, it feels so good and so right that Windfola is moving again. Tomorrow we are planning a big shakedown sail, and if all goes smoothly, we’ll depart the next day to cruise down the east coast of the North Island of New Zealand.

Sitting here by the light of Windfola’s oil lamp, rocking gently on our mooring, I’ve been remembering the beauty of long days at sea with incredible sunsets like this one. It was memories like this, coupled with a poem by Pat Schneider, that kept me going through the last few weeks of labor. To those of you who, like me, are working with a focused discipline... don’t forget the equal importance of just casting off the docklines and believing.

YOUR BOAT, YOUR WORDS

Your boat, they will tell you,
cannot leave the harbor
without discipline.

But they will neglect to mention
that discipline has a vanishing point,
an invisible horizon where belief takes over.

They will not whisper to you the secret
that they themselves have not fully understood: that
belief is the only wind with breath enough
to take you past the deadly calms, the stopped motion
toward that place you have imagined,
the existence of which you cannot prove
except by going there.

- Pat Schneider

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Day 6 of 25, singlehanding from CA to The Marquesas, French Polynesia

'Lectronic Latitude Article Out— PPJ Learnings, Part Two: What Breaks

Last year as we crossed the Pacific, we and lots of other members of the 2019 Pacific Puddle Jump Fleet learned plenty, especially about what breaks! I’ve pulled our learnings together in Part Two of my three-part series on lessons learned last year. Here’s an excerpt:

“For many Puddle Jumpers, the voyage across the Pacific to French Polynesia will be the longest they’ve ever made, landing them in remote places for many months. Some of the most remarkable islands along the Coconut Milk Run are in the first archipelagos visited in this east-to-west passage: the Gambiers, Marquesas, and Tuamotus. But these islands are isolated and offer limited access to parts and provisions, making planning and self-sufficiency imperative. The cruisers who don’t have the spare parts they need (or an unstoppable boat) may get stuck in one place while their 90-day visa ticks away, or have to rush downwind to well-stocked Tahiti, and they may never get a chance to return to these jewels of the South Pacific.

While it can be difficult to know which spares to bring, Cody Heath of Zoe from Houston, Texas, summed it up nicely: “Have anything you need that’s unique and essential.” For example, Bruce Toal of Wild Orchid, from San Diego, noted that he and many friend boats went through far more tricuspid joker valves than expected: “Some of the new ones are bad straight out of the package, so bring plenty of spares.”

While a working head definitely improves the quality of life aboard, there are other, far more important systems to prepare before departure. Your engine is more critical than ever when you’re navigating long, windless days and tricky atoll passes, so keeping it purring nicely becomes a borderline obsession.”

Go read the rest on ‘Lectronic Latitude!

A Terrible Accident :(

Zia was in an accident four days ago, and that’s how we met Ella, an animal whisperer from a family of angels.

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Today Zia was sedated for a final X-ray, which confirmed there’s been no damage to her organs or bones. I’ve always thought she was resilient... but I’m totally dumbfounded that she is this ok after being run over by both wheels of a fast-moving mountain bike.

I am SO grateful for Ella’s kind parents and brother swooping in to care for us in our moment of need. After Zia was run over, I was more scared than I’ve ever felt in even our worst moments at sea. She made horrifying cries and her whole body crumpled up. Ella’s family showed up, drove us 30 minutes to the nearest emergency vet, comforted both of us, and let us spend an evening in their home while we monitored Zia post-accident. She began to perk up once the pain meds kicked in, and she’s been rapidly improving ever since. (Truthfully, she’s recovering faster than me...)

We’ve been taking it easy the last few days because Zia’s bruised and sore... which means that *just* as our boat projects finished and we could haul anchor, we’ve yet again had to postpone our departure for the South Island. The ocean has been calling loudly to me for weeks, and I’ve been yearning for freedom... but must just believe that all is as it’s meant to be.

And despite the awful circumstances, I’m glad for both of us that we got to meet Ella and her lovely family. They’ve reminded me that we can all bring more goodness into the world by just choosing to care for one another.

'Lectronic Latitude Article: Learnings from the 2019 PPJ, Part One

Ever since halfway through last year’s sail across the Pacific, I’ve been eager to write and share all that my friends and I learned last year during our Puddle Jump. I’m so excited to announce that Latitude 38, via ‘Lectronic Latitude, has published the first of my three-part series of lessons learned! Here’s an excerpt:

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“When I crossed the equator for the first time last May, I paid tribute to the ocean by pouring out a tipple of precious rum. I’d brought just one large bottle for the trip, because I’d heard that cruisers are only permitted to have a total of six liters of alcohol aboard when they arrive to French Polynesia. I don’t regret sharing my favorite libation with the sea deities, but just like so many things I’d heard before departure, the six-liter rule was a bit of a myth, and one of many lessons that my newbie cruiser friends and I learned during the 2019 Pacific Puddle Jump. From rum shortages to engine issues, our hard-earned knowledge will help other first-timers prepare for the challenges ahead, and avoid sinking into low spirits.

Many of us Puddle Jumpers in the 2019 fleet were new to full-time cruising, with perhaps a Baja Ha-Ha under our belts, or a few years of experience in Mexico or the Caribbean. The long passage across the Pacific into remote islands was a wholly new experience. At 3,000 to 4,000 nm, the journey is one of the longest bluewater crossings a cruiser can do, and lands you in far more isolated places for a longer stretch of time, demanding a different approach to preparations. Despite reading the accounts of experienced cruisers and attending helpful seminars, we still faced challenges that could have been eased with a few minor adjustments to our preparations. There were some general trends in learning among the 2019 PPJ fleet, especially when it came to provisioning, mechanical issues, and keeping the crew and skipper happy.”

Go give it a read!

Valentine's Day & A New Article for My Fella Sailors!

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It’s Galentine’s Day, so I woke up thinking “Treat yo’ self, girrrl!” One trip down the road later, I’m celebrating with a big, luxurious farmer’s market bouquet of cabbage. There’s just no better way to say “I do!” to my saltwater dreams!

Why cabbage? Because it’s one of the longest lasting veggie provisions, and the best G-Day gift I can think of is to hoist anchor and go SAILING! (Ok... I’m actually still waiting for the mechanics to reinstall my steering, but that’s supposed to happen Monday, and then we’re outta here : )

In the meantime, I wrote a Valentine’s Day article to our ‘fella’ sailors (with the help of my amazing lady sailor community!)... that was PUBLISHED TODAY in ‘Lectronic Latitude by Latitude 38 Magazine. Go check it out and share it with all the sailor guys you know.

Oh, and go check out Part 2 of the interview we got to do with the incredible Ben Shaw of Out The Gate Sailing podcast.

—
photo credit the fierce and lovely Elizabeth from S/V Irwinish

"Make me an instrument of peace . . . "

not every day is easy, but every day that I look into these eyes, I feel lucky. Zia loves in a way that is different from any love I’ve ever felt. She forgives quickly. She’s patient. She’s always ready to be happy together again. And when I have a hard day, like today, she comes to me to check in, and offers to wipe my tears away... (errr... but, with her tongue, so there’s definitely some room for improvement in her tissue technique).

Lately, life has been amazing and overwhelming, blessed and challenging. I’m lucky to encounter so much kindness in my life, but when I encounter unkindness (however infrequently), it still makes my stomach sink and my heart drop. I struggle to share about it when it’s happening, but I’m trying to find positive ways to talk about some of the challenges I face out here as a solo young woman.

I’ve always been sensitive, and perhaps all of the time with nature has made me struggle more with mankind. I know we are all imperfect, but I think we must set an intention to not lash out meanly at each other. I want us to love each other the way Zia loves me: with a kind and generous heart.

There was no faith or organized religion in my childhood, so I am discovering prayer late in life. I heard this one recently — perhaps known to many people — and it resonated deeply with me. Lately, no matter what happens each day, this is the prayer my soul is speaking:

“Make me an instrument of peace; where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is discord, union; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; and where there is sadness, joy.

Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console; to be understood, as to understand; to be loved, as to love; for it is in giving that we receive, and it is in pardoning that we are pardoned.”

Thank you, Zia, for being this prayer embodied. I love you.

'Lectronic Latitude Article: What's the Buzz Around the Pacific Puddle Jump?

I wrote an article for ‘Lectronic Latitude, the thrice-weekly digital edition of Latitude 38, all about the latest news of the PPJ in 2020, and what I learned last year. Here’s an excerpt:

“Chatting on a hot New Zealand summer day this week, my new friend and fellow Pacific Puddle Jump 2019 alumna Elizabeth Stacey laughingly said to me, “We have a lot of canned tuna!” I can totally relate; I have way too many tins of sardines, but you’re bound to make mistakes when you provision for a 3,000nm journey across the Pacific into remote island archipelagos. This year’s Puddle Jumpers are preparing now for their departures from the west coast of the Americas. Eavesdropping on the digital PPJ forums has me reflecting on what my fellow jumpers and I learned in 2019, and what we wish we’d known before we departed for the remote islands of the South Pacific.

The latest buzz online has been about long-stay visas, a topic I know many in the 2019 fleet fretted about. Kathy and David Bennett sailed their Valiant 40 Pacific Destiny from Alameda to French Polynesia and back again during last year’s season, partly due to the 90-day limit for US citizens arriving by yacht without a visa. I opted to get a long-stay visa before departing from San Francisco, but spent nearly two months waiting, so I didn’t have time to visit Mexico before taking off for the South Pacific. Every cruiser I met who didn’t have a long-stay visa regretted it. Not having the visa also meant that some had to depart French Polynesia in less-than-ideal weather conditions.”

Go check it out, and stay tuned for an upcoming three-part series on lessons learned by last' year’s fleet. :)

Interview (!!!) with Out The Gate Sailing Podcast!

Ummm, so... the Out The Gate Sailing podcast just dropped a new episode, and it’s Part One of a two-part interview with YOURS TRULY!! It’s not only my favorite sailing podcast, but it’s made back home in the Bay Area by Ben Shaw, who is a wonderful interviewer and huge supporter of women sailors. I’m so honored by the opportunity... and I feel like 2020 just keeps on giving us rainbows!! (By the way, have you ever seen a rainbow at sunset?? I hadn’t before this one!)

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Take a listen to hear a bit about my sailing origins, why I’m so passionate about shining a light for the foster care community, and how you can become a supporter for these kids, in ways large or small.

Check it out, and support Out The Gate Sailing by subscribing on your favorite podcast platform. Thank you so much!!

_

photo taken as I arrived at sunset to Palmerston Island, on 5 Nov. 2019.

I'm A Cover Girl!!! (and so is Windfola . . . )

I’m so honored and stoked to announce that I’m ON THE COVER of LATITUDE 38 this month AND wrote a feature article on making landfall in New Zealand! If you wanna see where I was when I took this pic, go pick up a copy of the February Latitude 38 Magazine issue. They can typically be found at your nearest west coast chandlery, marina, or boatyard, like my Bay Area faves: South Beach Yacht Club KKMI Boatyard Svendsen's Marine Reliable Marine Electronics and my San Diego faves, Koehler Kraft Boatyard and San Diego Marine Exchange And while you’re at it, snap a pic with your copy of the issue and share it to show Latitude 38 some love!

I also wrote a feature article in the issue, all about making landfall in New Zealand and what it’s been like to cruise and do boat repairs here. Take some time and give it a read!

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Thank you so much to my awesome hometown sailing magazine for your support as I follow my circumnavigation dream, and for just keeping it REAL for all of us small-time sailors on old boats!

Oh, and in this pic I’m rocking my fearlessness necklace in support of the Joyful Heart Foundation who are doing amazing work for women, children, and families across the US. Thank you for healing hearts!

If you can’t get your hands on a copy, you can always read the digital edition at https://www.latitude38.com/issues/february-2020/